I have heard only impossible stories of the Mines of Moria. None
seem too believable... and so I took it upon myself to find out for
myself whether these stories are true. I began my journey in the
winter - a most desirable travel period for an orc.
I planned carefully -- plenty of food, 8 mighty orkish draughts,
water, snowshoes and my trusty warg, Goldie.
I was heavily armoured -- I knew this wasn't wise, but my fear of
wounds outweighed my fear of being chased through the snow. I
traveled far west along the river banks up to the Mighty Bruinen.
On my way I forced to drive my warg hard to outrun an oafish Hill Giant.
Twice I encountered pukes from the west. Luckily I had dabbled in
the magic of seeing things invisible to our eyes. I was most fortunate
to have this skill.
I was forced to sleep a night in an old barnyard but at least it was warm.
I crossed that old rope bridge and headed south. The directions I had
received from a fellow orc weren't clear and I found myself wandering the
shores of the Bruinen until finally I caught a glimpse of the trail
that leads through the thornpatches.
Once I was forced to take cover when a mighty elf attempted to spit his
nasty fire at me. Fortunately my will is strong and I resisted, fleeing
to the safety of a beast's lair where 4 mighty demon wolves kept me
company through the daytime.
At night I sprinted south along the road passing open fields of
glorious deer and stag. That day I was able to take refuge in the
caves of old which once housed our mighty armies.
The next night was a horrible one. The slopes of Redhorn Pass
are not forgiving. I hate them. I took me nearly a week to finally reach
the downslope of the pass. When I finally reached the valley on the
other side, I was hungry and had no food. It was then I realized my
biggest mistake. I hadn't packed a suitable blade for preparing meat.
Had I not caught sight of a Numenorian feeding on rabbit over a fire,
I surely would have starved to death. The thought of treading across
Redhorn with no food was more than I could bear.
The Numenorian gave me food and we parted ways after killing
several beasts. I made my way toward Moria, giddy with excitement.
When finally the gates were before me (Nearly a month since my
journey began) I nearly wept for the sight of covering where no
light would pierce my eyes.
I found the gate unlocked, but my shock upon entering nearly
made me falter...
One of my own kind called an alarm and several archers lined
the great corridor and shot arrows at me. One took me in the arm
and I was forced to run out closing the gate behind me. I was
horrified that these treacherous ones would hurt their own people.
I spoke the words that cause shamans to become invisible, but
my fumbling mouth couldn't speak the words correctly. A warrior
can't do this well, but after a day of meditating I managed to
fade from sight.
I entered again and was appalled to discover that these orcs
had the gift of seeing the invisible. A large patrol chased me,
but I fled, opening the doors inward. At great risk I ran across
Durin's narrow bridge, and I suppose those cowards were afraid of
the precipice because they didn't follow me.
I worked my way west until I found a great stairwell. Down I went
into a lower passage.
I trembled upon finding the warm corpses of three huge Ologs and a
I knew no orc had passed this way recently, and that only meant that
there were pukes about. Carfefully I hid my tracks and ducked into
hidden mineshaft. I remained a full day eating the lichen off the
I went back to the corpses and found great morningstars there. If
I only had the strength to carry the bucklers, stars and metal armor,
I knew orcs would be grateful.
After wandering some towards the west, I climbed a steep stairway.
At the top I found a passageway leading upwards. The trail lead to
some strange looking rooms. There an orcish warrior spied me and attacked.
As he stepped towards me, we both heard a *click*. I Froze not
knowing what it was. The warrior looked at me with horror as he ran
back the way he came. I dove to the west just as a huge boulder swung
into view clipping my shoulder and throwing me to the floor.
I knew I was in trouble. My arm bled profusely, but at least I was
alive. I glanced over and saw the other fellow hadn't made it.
He was crushed to death on the floor. Carefully I stood up. I realized
I had been hit on the head too. My eyes were momentarily blinded
by the blood that rushed down my head.
I was dizzy and staggered backwards a few steps. I swore as I heard
another *click*. I don't remember anything after that.
Diary of a curious orc