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Subject:[General] An unexpected crash, fireballed mutton
Author:*Lost*
Date:Fri Feb 3 19:46:27 1995
Id:7

In a hole in the ground there lived a Hobbit.  Not a dark, slimey hole full
of worms, but a Hobbit Hole, and that meant comfort.  In this hole lived a
fat and lazy Hobbit called Bilbo (Last login 1 day and 7 hours ago from
ulke.hiMolde.no.)  He had lived in the place known as The Shire for as long
as he, or anyone else cared to remember.  It was rumoured that he had Tookish
blood in him, but the Tooks came from over the Brandywine, and nobody went
there as there was no exp.

One Autumn afternoon, probably in Winterfilth, Bilbo was busy hanging out
his washing (it was too close to summer for Trolls to be in the Shire) when
along came an old looking mage wearing a ridiculous hat.
"Gandalf!" cried Bilbo, as he recognised the Istar.  "Why aren't you wearing
a hood? It's +1 OB", he asked the man.
"Hullo Bilbo! My, we haven't seen you for a while." said the level 25 mage.
"True true! but why are you here anyway?"
"Hmmm well we need TPs now, it's bloody patetic.  I need 3k TPs to level, and
I've tried the greenway and didn't get any.  So here I am, why else would
anyone go to the Shire.". Gandalf looked at Bilbo.

Thorin tells you 'so will you group with us for Smaug? We really need a buffer
and Rudger won't help, he's always doing the worm'
Fili tells you 'please help! I heard Smaug has an iron and my dodge sucks'
Balin tells you 'come on, you're the only 20+ on apart from Rudger. Orcs are
raiding Fornost again so all the legends have their orcs on'
Thorin tells you 'nobody comes here btw, there are lots of TPs'

Gandalf's eyes lit up.  He suddenly remembered he was an Istar and was
supposed to help newbies.  Bilbo looked like a newbie - he had no grey cloak
at least.  Realising he could get exps and tps, and realising that he would
still have time to kill orcs in Fornost, he couldn't stop himself.

"Ah! Bilbo my dear friend, I want you to come on an adventure with me!"
A rural guard arrived from the south.
A rural guard said 'It was reported that Gandalf wielded an unsheathed weapon
at Bag-End. Follow me and be judged'
Gandalf slapped the guard, and in trying to hit him, missed and bashed his
staff on Bilbo's door, making a strange ominous sign.
Gandalf began some strange incantations...
Gandalf uttered the words 'teleport'
Gandalf suddenly disappeared.
Gandalf narrated 'fuck wanted in the shire now'

And so events took shape. The next day thirteen Dwarves arrived at the Shire,
as Gandalf had told them to group there. They had travelled far, from east
of the Misties, but with their horses it had only taken them a few ticks. The
fact that Bifur was in fact an Elven cleric (there weren't enough Dwarven
warriors on at the time) had helped a great deal, as he had BOBed them.
"So where's Gandalf?" asked Thorin.
"It is impossible to distinguish one track from another in cities..." replied 
one of the Dwarves.
Thorin narrated 'come to shire gandalf, we're all here'

Gandalf suddenly appeared.
Gandalf uttered the words 'shield'
Gandalf put some pipeweed in his A small pipe.
Gandalf cursed loudly, "when will they fix this mudlle? just wasted 4 gold on
this"
"Hmmm so we ready?" he asked.
"Yeah, can you teleport to Smaug and trans us?" questioned a Dwarf.
"No. I want to do BBT on the way - Glamdring AND Orcrist are there I think.
Anyway, it's better if we go through the misites as I need WPs. Damn Snarf's
chars are keeping me off the warlords. Anyway smaug is noteleport"

*a Human* arrived from the west
Bilbo attempted to slash *a Human* but barely tickled his wrist.
*a Human* is dead! R.I.P.
Their blood froze as they heard *a Human*'s deathcry.

You discover that Tharbadder has his hands in your wallet.
Gandalf narrated 'dammit tharbadder stole from me again'
Phier narrated 'god i'm bored. i'd play an orcish mage if it was worth it but
it is'nt'

Nahar arrived from the east
A hungry warg arrived from the east
A hungry warg arrived from the east
A hungry warg arrived from the east
A hungry warg arrived from the east
A hungry warg arrived from the east
A hungry warg arrived from the east
A hungry warg arrived from the east
Nahar said 'DAMMIT GANDLAF YOU DIDENT KIL FELAGAL WHEN HE BLIND STEELBLADE
FUCKING BULLSHIT'
Nahar smited Gandalf's body hard reducing it to small fragments.
Nahar ordered his follows to 'assist nahar'
Gandalf swiftly dodged A hungry warg's attempt to hit him.
Gandalf swiftly dodged A hungry warg's attempt to hit him.
Gandalf swiftly dodged A hungry warg's attempt to hit him.
A hungry warg hit Gandalf's arm hard.
A hungry warg tried to hit Gandalf but he parried successfully.
A hungry warg tried to hit Gandalf but barely tickled his leg.
A hungry warg burst into tears.

Gandalf narrated 'TRANS'
Gandalf removed a ring.
Gandalf suddenly disappeared.

"Where does he always go?" pondered Bilbo.

The Entrance of a Dreadful Cave
They were standing in a dark and dirty cave. A horrible stench filled the
air and their stomachs revolted. The floor was covered with trash, dried
blood, and other things they did not want to examine too closely. Holding
their noses with their fingers they looked around in the damp light and tried
to orientate themselves.
Tom the mountain-troll brandishes with his club.   .
Bert the mountain-troll is looking for something to eat.   .
Bill the mountain-troll glares hungrily at you.   .

Gandalf uttered the words 'sanctuary'
Gandalf glowed with a bright light!
Bill the mountain-troll crushed Gandalf's body hard, reducing it to small
fragments.
Gandalf panicked and attempted to flee, but Tom the mountain-troll blocked his
way!
Gandalf panicked and attempted to flee, but Bert the mountain-troll blocked his
way!
Gandalf panicked and attempted to flee, but Bill the mountain-troll blocked his
way!
The sun rose in the east.
Their blood froze as they heard *a Troll*'s death cry.
Their blood froze as they heard *a Troll*'s death cry.
Their blood froze as they heard *a Troll*'s death cry.

Gandalf looked around him...
Gandalf revealed An elven sword (mudlled)
Gandalf looked around him...
Gandalf revealed An elven sword (mudlled)
Gandalf looked around him...
Gandalf revealed an elven short sword with a runic inscription (mudlled)

Gandalf gave an elven short sword with a runic inscription to Bilbo.  Gandalf
gave An elven sword to Thorin.
Bilbo wielded an elven short sword with a runic inscription, looking evil
minded.
Thorin wielded An elven sword, looking evil-minded.
Bilbo narrated 'level!'
RadoracII narrated '<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<CONGRATS>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>'
Shaedric narrated 'you have the Shaedric seal of approval Bilbo!'
Pablo narrated '!!!!!!!!!!!!CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
Sydney narrated '%$$%%$%$%$%$%$%$%C O N G R A T S $%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%'
<SNIP>
Arion narrated 'stop spamming I've deleted the spam. too much net usage'

Tom Bombadil sang 'Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo!'
Tom Bombadil sang 'Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow!'
Tom Bombadil sang 'Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo!'

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