Subject:[General] The Lord of the Rings [condensed]
Date:Sun Dec 18 22:05:44 1994
Ok, I abbreviated the buffer here, to keep with the two page limit.
So grab a cup of tea, or whatever, and settle down to read the TRUE
story of what happened in the Lord of the Rings.

   Bilbo was having a birthday party for him and Frodo, and everyone
was invited. Many people came to join the happy celebration.
Bilbo narrates 'wow! I finally got to the fourth age bracket!'
Frodo narrates 'yeah, but your moves suck now, all you got is mana...'
Bilbo narrates 'well, maybe I'll learn colour spray, to help me hunt
   in the warrens.'
Bilbo stops using a ring.
Bilbo dissappears in a puff of smoke.
Bilbo tells you 'don't worry, I got a trans to Rivendell...'

Now, one of the visitors was the Wizard Gandalf the Grey... And Frodo
and Gandalf began to talk...
Frodo says 'so why are you in the shire now?'
Gandalf says 'well, besides this birthday party, I need to get evil to
use a fang... it's a great weapon. Much better than my old thorn.'
Gandalf says 'besides, I can't backstab with Glamdring very well'
Gandalf looks at Frodo.
*>l frodo
Frodo is in excellent condition.
<worn on finger>     a ring
<worn on finger>     The One Ring! It has a soft humming sound...
Gandalf begins some strange incantations...
Gandalf utters the words 'fireball'
Gandalf swears loudly for a long time.
Gandalf says 'damned newbie protection'
Gandalf now thinks to himself, hmm, if I can't get him to give it to me, 
maybe if I convince him to go someplace dangerous, I can loot his corpse.
So Gandalf convinces him to go on a long journey...

Gandalf says, 'now be careful of Tom Bombadil's house, I hear that orcs
hang out there now.'
Gandalf says 'and remember! use brief mode! to save net usage!'

Now, the rumour of Frodo's ring had spread, and other people than 
Gandalf wanted this ring also. And as Frodo slept, others arrived before
he started his journey. But more feared than Saurons ringwraiths arrived
to claim the prize also... Someone even more deadly than Sauron himself!

Sometime that night...
Samwise narrates 'Frodo! wake up! they are here! Run!'
Guards burst in through the keyhole, to come to their master's aid!
Frodo narrates 'damn! help trans! Chief of Tharbad is here!'
Frodo panics, and attempt to flee, but can't find an exit!
North - a 'locked' door
*>open door
It seems to be locked!
The chief of Tharbad slashes your body to small fragments.
The Guard joins his fight!
The guard joins his fight!
The guard joins his fight!
Frodo begins some strange incantations....
Frodo utters the words 'teleport'
*>The Old Forest

Frodo made his way through Old forest, and makes it into the wightlord.
Frodo is incapacited, and Gandalf arrives, and Solos the Wightlord.
As a result, the lord is upped, now casting fear, no longer is affected
by combat spells, and has 22 nobles that spam 'AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!'
Samwise gets a wightblade.
Samwise wields a wightblade, looking evil-minded.
Pippin gets a wightblade.
Pippin wields a wightblade, looking evil-minded.
Gandalf says 'those blade are from the barrows, and are very good.'
Gandalf gets a ruby ring.
Gandalf wears a ruby ring on his left finger.
GAndalf says 'how much does the One ring weight Frodo? would you check?'
Frodo stops using the One ring.
Frodo drops the One ring.
Frodo says '1/2 kg.'
Gandalf gets the One ring.
Gandalf cackles in Frodo's face.
GAndalf puts the One ring on his finger, but is zapped by it!
GAndalf says 'ack! i was wearing another ring at the same time!'
Frodo gets the One ring...
Frodo growls menacingly.

So the party makes its way towards Rivendell. They pick up Strider on
the way. Barliman was very suspicious of him, and would't let him have
a room, because he was over level 15 however... but during the night,
they are attacked!

Frodo wears the One ring on his finger.
Frodo fades invisible!
Gandalf yells 'idiot! they see invisible! everything does!'

But they ride for the safety of Rivendell once again.
Coming closer, they meet Glorfindel.
Glorfindel says 'Frodo, can you ride? take my horse, and spam east!'
Glorfindel says 'why don't you just cast breath of briskness Gandalf?'
Gandalf says 'saving for backstab for my fang...'
Frodo makes it across the ford, and later the rest of the team arrives.
Glorfindel says 'any of you guys evil?'
They arrive safely in Rivendell.
Arwen Undomiel says 'if you follow me, I will show you around?'
Elrond looks at Gandalf.
Elrond says 'You stray from the path...'

Later that night...
*>who god
Dand the None (Linkless)
Frodo has lost his link.
Bilbo has arrived from the south.
Bilbo gives a mitheral coat to Frodo.
Bilbo gives an elven short sword to Frodo.
Bilbo gives some gold to Frodo.
Bilbo has left the game.
Frodo smirks.
*>who god
Dand the None (Linkless)
Frodo yells 'ok, i'm ready now!'

Gandalf narrates 'is moria open yet?'
Slayer narrates 'dut go to the Balrug, it killd me! Ariakas load it onme!'

The company descends into Moria, and escapes. Gandalf gets caught with
the Balrog though, and runs into a deathtrap to save xp loss. However,
looses Glamdring in the process.

The company is now outside, and is encountering cold weather...
Aragorn says 'I hate snow!'
Frodo sings 'slow!'
Legolas says 'you know, I wish elves knew how to run on snow, that would
be a neat trick... to bad we elves don't know how to do that...'
Gimli says 'I hear that trolls know how to run on top of snow! they can
run without sinking through!'
Legolas says 'shoulda played my troll...'

But they get through the snow, cause they all go linkless until the
season changes. They never figured out how the weather changed however.
They blamed it on orcs with control weather, until someone pointed out
that orcs don't have control weather, that it was a whitie spell.

Boromir looks at Frodo.
Boromir says 'gimmi that ring or I kill all your characters.'
Frodo panics, and attempts to flee.
Samwise narrates 'ORCS! HELP ORCS! '
Boromir narrates 'YES! I get WPS now! how many does Amber have?'
Boromir slashes *an orcs* hand to small fragments.
*An orc* shoots Boromir's hand.
*An orc* shoots Boromir's head.
*An orc* utters the words 'hold person'
(200 arrows later)
Boromir is dead! R.I.P.
An Old man gets the corpse of Boromir.
*An orc* kills an Old man!
*An orc* yells 'argh, i cant lift the corpse from the old man corpse!'
The corpse of the old man decays.

To be continued.

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