Subject:[Flame] PLEASE READ!
Date:Tue Feb 9 00:32:15 1999
Very important message!  ;-)

> If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it immediately.
> Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty.
> It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also
> delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.   It
> demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards.   It reprograms
> your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses
> subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play.   
> It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all your
> ice cream melts and your milk curdles. It will program your phone
> AutoDial to call only your mother-in-law's number. This virus will mix
> antifreeze into your fish tank.
> It will drink all your beer. It will leave dirty socks on the coffee
> table when you are expecting company. 
> Its radioactive emissions will cause your toe jam and bellybutton fuzz
> (be honest, you have some) to migrate behind your ears. It will
> replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while
> dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their
> hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.  
> It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that
> is only fun until someone loses an eye. It will give you Dutch Elm
> Disease and Tinea.
> It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to
> passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which
> grossly change the interpretations of key sentences.
> If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows95 environment, it
> will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in
> dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the
> forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, but it will also
> refill your skim milk with whole milk. It will replace all your
> luncheon meat with Spam. It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or
> perfume, causing it to smell like dill pickles. It is insidious and
> subtle.
> It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather
> interesting shade of mauve.
> These are just a few signs of infection.

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