Subject:[General] The Lord of the Rings [condensed] Part II
Date:Sun Dec 18 22:35:01 1994
Well, Boromir ran out to try to get his corpse, but died to a ferocious
warg cause he had no weapon and was at awful, and decided to quit for
seven weeks until he got age again. 

However, during the melee, the hobbits got seperated.
Pippin and Merry were all alone, but captured by orcs!
Ugluk looks at *a hobbit*.
Ugluk says 'I think we should just kill them... but Sauron says no.'
RumpleBarc says 'yeah! kill them!'
Slushy says 'NO! let them be!'
Kurgan says 'and who are you to stop us>?'
Fnineteen looks at Slushy.
FNineteen slashes Mograth's head into small fragments!
Moonchild joins FNineteen's fight!
Hairball joins Mograth's fight!
--- So it was thus that Slushy convinced the orcs to only capture them---

Merry narrates 'orcs have us, near plains!'
And two hundred men set out on horseback with lances to attack them.
Ugluk says 'we can't fight them at day, cause uruk-hai means only that
we can move during day.'
Killjoy says 'But we are the fighting Uruk-hai! we fight in the sun!'
Cavalier says 'we get penalties while fighting in sun killjoy...'
But the men attacked during the night anyway, cause they got lagged and
by the time they reconnected, it was sundown, and they knew that they
could never catchup with them on horses, cause with two hundred mounts
refusing... (and not one of them knew breath of briskness)
*A human* bellows 'Charge!!!!'
*A human* bellows 'Charge!!!!'
*A human* runs into a flowerbush.
The *orc* has arrived from the north.
The *orc* smites the *human's* hand into small fragments.
*A human* narrates 'dumb lances! I thought they were improved!'
*A human* barely tickes the *orc* with his charge.
*A human* stops using a lance.
*A human* swiftly draws a horn, looking evil minded.
*A human* pierces the *orc's* head to small fragments!
And so the battle went...

But Merry and Pippin found a forest where they found talking trees!
The ent says 'I hate those orcs, they always kill us for experience...'
Gandalf suddenly fades into existance.
Gandalf utters the words 'charm person'
So Gandalf, with an army of charmed ents, went to battle Saruman'f fort.
Gandalf orders his followers to 'assist Gandalf'
The ent joins Gandalf's fight!
The ent joins Gandalf's fight!
The ent joins Gandalf's fight!
The hungry warg joins Gandalf's fight!
The trained horse joins Gandalf's fight!
The Queen Bee join's Gandalf's fight!
And thus, the orcs and Saruman were served another defeat.

But the real battle was with Samwise and Frodo, for they had stumbled
into a tight spot, narrated for transes, and Brutus the evil Transer
had transed them west of Rivendell into Mormeag's lair!
Mormaeg hits Frodo's left foot and reduces it to small fragments.
Frodo is incapacated, and will die soon, if not aided.
Samwise draws an elvish shortsword, looking evil-minded.
Samwise draws a wightblade, looking evil-minded.
Mormaeg makes a strange gurgling sound as Samwise places an elvish short
sword in her back.
Mormaeg makes a strange gurgling sound as Samwise places a wightblade
in her back.
Mormaeg panics, and attempts to flee.
Samwise tries to practice his art on Frodo, but to no avail.
Samwise successfully practices firstaid on Frodo!
Frodo is lying here, bleeding to death.
Well, Samwise for six hours kept using firstaid, until someone told him
That it would not work.
Samwise has lost his link.
Sammercaster arrives in a puff of smoke!
Sammercaster utters the words 'heal'
Sammercaster dissappers in a puff of smoke!
Samwise hugs Frodo.

With the help of Gollum, they got to Mount Doom, but almost got demoted
for cooperating with Darkies.
Gollum says 'my precious, give it to me, my precious!'
Frodo says 'NO! the ring is mine! I shall rule Tharbad now!'
Frodo wears the One ring.
Frodo fades from sight.
Gollum utters the words 'detect invisibility'
Gollum utters the words 'detect invisibility'
Gollum squeals, as his spell backfires!
Gollum lies down, and goes to sleep.
Gollum wakes up.
Gollum quaffs a muave potion.
Gollum bites Frodo's body hard!
Frodo pierces Gollum's body and reduces it to small fragments!
Gollum shouts 'Damn Elven swords of Wizkill!'
Gollum is dead! R.I.P.
Frodo is zapped by an orkish scale shirt, and drops it.
Frodo is awarded for outstanding performance.
Frodo is zapped by the One ring, and drops it.
Frodo is awarded for outstanding performance.
The mountain quakes!
Frodo narrates 'TRANS'
Gandalf narrates 'rem rings'
Frodo narrates 'I can't! It's Cursed!'
Gandalf narrates 'I'm going to kill Chan if I see him again!'
Chan narrates 'ha ha, I've got newbie protection!'

And so, the story of the Lord of the Rings was unfolded....

Quickening Hunter D

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