Why I like orcs (part II)

Author:Spammer
Date:Sat Jul 5 23:18:58 1997
Id:67
Hi again orcies! Here's the next part of the story of Spammer's 
journey to visit your nice caves. Your nice lore-guy here has
been nice enough to write it down while we says it. We has trouble
with things like writin' and readin'.

Now, where was we? Oh yeah, we was walking along the big river
away from the troll hole with a big pile of shiny metal thingies
in our arms. So we kept walking the way we was before. We hid in
the forest or in caves during the day. After a while, we started
seeing lots of wolves and wargies and stuff, and we knew we had to
be getting close. Some of the bigger wargies tried to attack us, but
we ran away, since we was afraid you orcies might get mad if we
killed any of them. We crossed a bridge, and lost sight of the river.
We were just about to get off the trail and look for the river again,
when we ran into a big orc, on a big warg, carrying a big pointy spear.
He seemed surprised to see us, and he says to us, 'What's we doing up
here trollie?' and we says, 'We's going to visit our orcie friends up
here at the end of the big river.' After we says this, he snickers at
something and says we's going the wrong way, that we's gots to stay on
the trail. We thanks him, and as he rears is wargie up he says to us,
'Good luck getting in!' and cackles as he rides away.

We sets out along the trail. It seems to go up and up forever, and soon
we gots huge cliffs on both sides of us. We thinks this is good, since
whiteface won't be able to see us most of the time. Eventually we starts
to go down again, and we sees that we're almost out of the mountains.
Here we sits down and rests for a while, since the metal thingies are
starting to get heavy, even though Spammer is pretty strong. We starts to
think too, since something doesn't seem right to us. Then we remembers,
our orcie friend said he lives in the mountains, and we're almost out of
them! This bothers us, since we didn't see any orc-looking caves on our
way here. We looks back we came and frowns. 'This wasn't supposed to happen'
we thinks.

As we's sitting there munching on a goat-thingy leg, we looks back again
and suddenly we sees something. It's another trail, going back into the
mountains! We sets out right away down it, thinking this has to be the way.
Soon we finds out we were right when we gets to a big gate. 'Open up!', we
yells, 'It's one of your trollie friends from down south come to visit!'
We sees an orcie poke his head out from a little hole in the gate and look
at us. We says to him, 'Hi! We's gots nice metal thingies for you to wear!'
But he just goes back in and closes the little door. We waits, then we waits
some more. Finally, we yells again 'Hey orcies, isn't Spammer going to be let
in?' But the gate doesnt open, and we feels whiteface is going to be up soon,
so we leave.

Soon we gets scared, cause we don't see any nice dark caves around to hide in.
We starts running back further into the mountains. Then all of a sudden we
sees a little wooden cabin and thinks to ourselves, 'That isn't as nice as a
cave, but it'll hide us from whiteface.' As we's walking down the little trail
to it, though, we sees a big pit on the other side of the trail, with lots of
rocks and stuff in it. But even better, we sees orcies! The orcies are leading
a bunch of ugly elfs and Men into a little hole in the ground. We decides to
follow them, and see where they're going.

Just then, one of the orcies sees us and runs up to us. 'Who in are you?' he
asks. 'Spammer', we says. He looks at the metal stuff I have and says, 'Hmm,
Guthblug musta sent you. I wish the bastard would tell me these things.
You'll do just fine in the mines though. Move along now! It'll be day soon!'
He turned around at started walking back to the hole, and we followed him.


To be continued in Part III...