So the other day I'm out scouting the mountains... you know, doing my duty
and making sure you little snagas are safe while you learn your way
around... and I sees this dwarf on a donkey down by the river! His fat
little ass took off down the trail and vanished into the fog. I about
died laughing. He was naked as the day he was born! Well... I put the
ol' Orlaug nose to the ground (just follow my nose... it always knows)
and soon I found his donkey lost in the fog. Fat boy had fallen off and
lost it! I dispatched it quickly and began looking around for what I
figured would be an easy kill... a fat naked dwarf lost in the foggy
mountains. Soon I found him resting up. I just kept circling him and
sticking him with my fang. Every pierce drew blood. He knew his death
was near and tried to be brave, but I could smell his fear. By the time
he stopped quivering my warg was in a frenzy and I was drenched in
blood up to my elbows. So anyway... here's what I discovered...
I've never been a fan of dwarf meat. Tough, bitter, and not worth the
hassle of removing all the hair. This dwarf was different. He was SO
fat I carved 3 steaks off him and brought it back to the caves for those
snagas who aint tasted dwarf before. To my surprise, he was rather good.
Usually I take out my victims with a quick stab to the base of the spine
and they don't live long enough to work themselves into a lather. Since I
took my time tormenting ol' fatty, the meat had that wonderful flavor
of fear that I love. I wrapped the meat in some Kingsfoil (I like the
minty flavor) and slow smoked it for about an hour. Some say it was the
best ol' Orlaug has made yet! Next time ya finds a dwarf, take your time
with him and don't ruin the meat. Your taste buds will love ya for it.
Orlaug the Gourmet
|
